im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
