I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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