pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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