Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
