I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
