my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
