so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
