Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
