Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
