i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
