If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
