is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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