Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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