The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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