She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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