we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
