fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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