i permit you to call me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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