Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
