New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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