Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
