i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
