just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
