Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
