ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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