Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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