her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
