Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
