I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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