birth control should be required to get into college
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
