Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
