I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
only if we run a train.
done.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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