we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
