she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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