The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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