Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
