..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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