i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
