Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
