This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't deserve a penis
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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