okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
