garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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