TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Girls should come with a carfax report
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
