My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
