spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
