so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
