I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
