Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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