Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
