we made out on top of his cat.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
