My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
operation harelip BJ is a go
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
