Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
